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Dr. Douche

May 15, 2012

On 5/12/12, there was an article in the Los Angeles Times that referred to Dr. David Heimbach, a “noted burn surgeon” who had testified before California  lawmakers about a baby who had been burned. 

 According to the Times, that baby did not exist.  Also according to the Times, neither did “the 9-week-old patient who Heimbach told California legislators died in a candle fire in 2009. Nor did the 6-week-old patient who he told Alaska lawmakers was fatally burned in her crib in 2010.”

 Heimbach.  DOCTOR Heimbach, is, evidently, a paid expert witness for the manufacturers of flame retardants.

And again quoting from the article in the L.A. Times: “His testimony is part of a decades-long campaign of deception that has loaded the furniture and electronics in American homes with pounds of toxic chemicals linked to cancer, neurological deficits, developmental problems and impaired fertility.”

Although the article continues, nowhere does it say that Dr. David Heimbach has been arrested, tried, convicted nor imprisoned.  Let alone shunned, shamed, stoned or set on fire. 

Dr. Heimbach is quoted pointing out that his testimony was not under oath.  Oh good.  That makes it all better.  Sure he’s shilling for an industry that attempts to make parents fear for the safety of their infants so that they’ll buy items filled with chemicals that may severely damage the health of those infants, sure he wasn’t actually telling the truth, but after all, he wasn’t UNDER OATH.  I suppose if he had been under oath, he could later confidently report that he’d had his fingers crossed, so it didn’t count.

 To me, the only thing that can be said in his favor is that when he’s done these horrible things, he had not been in elected office, nor had he been appointed to a public position wherein he was charged with honestly carrying out the peoples’ tasks.  And I give him a quarter of a point for that because lately my head has been exploding regularly at the near daily reports of such people being caught involved in wretched corruption.

Please.  If I’m ever injured, and Doctor Heimbach is the only physician anywhere around, and he comes anywhere near me, please make sure he doesn’t swipe my wallet.  Because I wouldn’t put it past him.




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