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Jack Benny, 39 y/o

May 24, 2014

Jack Benny claimed to be 39.

I just turned 64. Up until very recently I believe I held the secret thought that I was going to somehow never suffer the effects of declining health. Although I’m sure I had already suffered some, it was mild enough, and achieved gradually enough, that I could ignore it. Recently that has begun to change.

I have sleep apnea. Probably have had it for years but had it officially diagnosed last August, and I have been trying to learn to sleep while wearing a cipap face mask ever since. None too successfully. Lately, the lack of good sleep has begun to kick my butt. I use a nasal spray called Dymista, which is azelastine hydrochloride and fluticasone proprionate for anyone who is interested, and I just may be able to pronounce it, but I don’t know what it is. Which mostly says that I have not tried to read the printed insert. I will probably undergo a minor, outpatient, surgery called a turbinate reduction that may help me sleep with the cipap gadget.

I had an incident about a month ago that I thought might have been a mild heart attack, though that has, thankfully, turned out not to be the case. At least no positive results showed up in the several EKG tests and the stress/echo test. Still, at the time, it led to my calling 911 for myself, for the first time in my life.

My jaw hurts a bit at the tmj. I get mild headaches more often than I used to. I’m overweight and my flexibility has declined a lot. My eyes often burn in the morning and sometimes in the late evening. I am a bit fearful that my cognitive abilities have delined (and this is a possible result of sleep apnea), although, I suppose, it could simply be that I don’t get enough sleep because of the apnea, so that I’m sleepy, rather than permanently less mentally able.

I’ve been watching a lot of old episodes of House recently. Maybe I’ve got sympathetic illnesses. Then again, maybe it’s just turning 64 (and maybe my diet could be a whole heck of a lot better).

When I’m 64. Fuck them Beatles.

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